Purpose

I am looking at the past three previous entries and am realizing that they are all about music and are directly related to what I was listening to at the time. That's fine, as I love listening to music. However, after publishing the last post I realize I am sounding like an advertisement for rdio. It made me feel weird. Going forward I am going to try to avoid being an unpaid sponsor.

I guess the questions are what do I want to write about here? What should this space be for? What are my musings?

These are hard questions for me to answer because in general I tend to be reserved in my interests.

I like photography but I am not out daily or even weekly on personal photo assignments. (I have in the past though) I can think of the typs of photos I would like to take but I don't take the steps to take them. Most days it's just pictures of P and the things she is doing. Yeah, that gets me the Facebook love from friends and family, and yeah I think I take good pictures and she's super-cute, but it's not a creative endeavour. It's more like photojournalism or simple snapshotting. It's a good hobby, but I am afraid I am not much of a hobbyist.

I like movies, but I go to the movies maybe twice a year and maybe we see a movie once a week. The thing is movies don't seem to stay with me beyond the initial viewing. The next day I am not thinking about them so I am not writing about them. Plus it's not like I am a critical thinker in regards to films. I see them and I like them, or I see them and I don't like them. Move on.

TV can be a decent topic. With the fall season strarting soon that could be something. Though I am not a huge television watcher there are a few shows I want to catch. We will see if I get to watch them. Hold that thought I might come back to it.

"Musings and half-formed ideas. Music, Movies, Television and all the rest of the things we use to distract ourselves." Seems like an easy enough description, seems like a nice broad theme. So what is my issue? I've touched on music heavily in the past and I can keep that up in the future. There's no reason why I can't discuss movies. Am I worried about timeliness? Who cares about timeliness? As for television, well, I think I have a future post so I am ok. It's the musings and half-formed ideas I am getting stuck on. Is that too broad? Too general. No, I don't think so.

I know the reason.

It has to do with confidence and a lack of trust in my abilities; a lack of faith in myself to write something interesting, even if it is just to me.

So how do I gain confidence in my writings, in my ideas, in my photos, in my abilities?

My answer right now is just to keep on plugging away at this. If I think of something I should write it. Half-formed ideas. I gave myself permission for those in the descriptor. I should stop worrying and learn to accept my ideas for whatever they are.

I will refrain from writing some declarative statement here about getting back on track or getting better about this. Or saying "it all starts here." That seems to be a recipe for a complete disinterest and abandonment.

I'll just wrap this up and tell myself all those things.